J.C. Abstract

asisink @ 2011-07-22T14:05:00

2011-07-22T18:05:27Z

Holy shit, guise. I haven't posted in a few months so I suppose I should really get on this.

Not much has changed with my everyday life, I go to work, I go to karate, and I come home.

Work is still as shitty as ever. I am currently one of three cooks, two of which are leaving for College in a few weeks, which means that I will be the ONLY cook, and I'm already being expected to work weekends or whenever the fuck they need me. I've been handing out resumes, but to no success. What a huge surprise in this tiny, conservative town.

My dad is still driving me absolutely insane, I honestly think that I could be adopted, just because dad is such an insane, racist, homophobic idiot that there's no fucking way he had a role in creating me. Because I am awesome.

At least once a week he tries to convince me that black people caused cancer, and every single time I try to explain to him how ridiculous that is, he simply shoves it off and believes that he is correct. But that's the thing that bugs me, he always thinks that he's correct and that everyone should applaud how brilliant he is, but he's NOT always right. He's actually very rarely correct in anything he speaks about. A few weeks ago he pronounced "Forensics" as "Fornesics" so I politely corrected him. However, all he had to say was how shallow and terrible I am and how when I grow up, I will realize that I'm not always right and to not be rude.

What? I'm nearly twenty, and I can guarantee that I'm smarter than you, dad. But whatever.

It's also constantly aggravating when he puts down my gay friends. I told him that when I passed my G2 test, I was going to drive up to Kingston and visit Maddy, who is transgender. Dad said "Oh yeah, she, him, it, whatever, they're pretty cool. But kind of gross."

No, you're constantly biggotry is "gross." Your ignorance is "gross."
So please, if you could, fuck right off.

Onto some good news;

Heidi had her baby, a little girl named MarLee who is the cutest human being on the planet. When she toots she laughs and when she sleeps, she puts her middle fingers up. I have faith that she will grow up to be amazing, which of course she will because her parents are badass.

I'm also going to visit Brandon next May, if I have the money for it. Mum and Dad said that they would help pay for a lot of it, but I just need to make sure that my hours don't get cut more than they already have, otherwise I won't even be able to afford to buy my groceries. But I think everything will turn out fine. Plus, my grandmother's are quite evil but also quite loaded, so maybe one of them will die and leave me some cash.

Sure, that makes me a terrible person, but those bitches be crazy, son.

Anywhore; Until next time.

asisink @ 2011-05-02T19:10:00

2011-05-02T23:10:19Z

Well, as everyone knows, the Universe is making a huge deal about Osama Bin Laden being killed in a US airstrike yesterday.
However, I seriously don't think he's dead.

Now, I'm just one of those horrible people who believes that 9/11 was an American conspiracy, and if you don't agree, no big deal, but don't tell me I'm incorrect. But I mean, really? The US isn't swift enough to kill that fucker, he's been a world champion of Hide and Seek for a while now, I'm definitely thinking that he's still in a cave or a mansion somewhere, enjoying a wondrous glass of wine.

asisink @ 2011-04-27T00:11:00

2011-04-27T04:11:09Z

Ok, I really want to stop neglecting my Livejournal, but I need something to talk about.
So suggestions?

asisink @ 2011-04-25T18:44:00

2011-04-25T22:44:47Z

I feel like I've been neglecting LiveJournal a lot recently, but it's mostly just because I only ever whine in it.
However, I suppose that's what a journal is for, to vent about your day to day life.

But my life just isn't interesting.
I go to work at my shitty job that depresses me beyond belief and come home.
Day in and day out.

And I don't have many friends.

asisink @ 2011-03-22T21:42:00

2011-03-23T01:42:42Z

Ok, does anybody else realize that I am NOT ten years old anymore?
Yes? Do you really?

Because I just want to make sure that I'm not going completely bat-shit fucking insane.

Earlier this morning, I got an e-mail from the college telling me that I wasn't accepted because my average was 39%. Immediately, I freaked out, there's no way in fuck that my average was 39%, considering last time I checked, it was 94%. They mixed up my application with someone else's and now I'm going to have to wait yet another year to go to College, though I'm thinking of moving to Montreal and going to school there.

I was upset, obviously, all morning and my dad nor my step mom were listening to a word I was saying. I told them that I would handle everything and to just leave me alone for a bit, so I can collect my brain matter and go to fucking work. But of course they didn't, my dad called the college, even though I told them that I would fucking handle it, so I had to deal with Dumbfuck McSecretary while sobbing.

Then Vikki drove me to work, on the way I just listened to music to calm the shit down, I got out of the car when I got to work without saying a word.

Dad picks me up from karate and tells me that I need to apologize to Vikki when I get home. I ask why, apparently she told dad that I slammed the car door horribly hard when I got out. Which I didn't, because I'm not immature. I told dad that exact thing, but he told me to apologize anyways.

Pardon me? No, I will not apologize for something that I didn't do. That's like me going to Germany and apologizing for Hitler, not my fucking fault, I had nothing to do with that shit.

I'm not ten anymore, I'm nineteen. I can take care of myself, feed myself and even bathe myself. I don't need babysitters and I definitely don't need this childish bullfuck.

asisink @ 2011-03-13T20:15:00

2011-03-14T00:15:00Z

Mark and I have been talking about what we want to do with our lives a lot recently.
We both want to live in a beautiful studio apartment with a large window in order to look over the city and lust over the gorgeous city lights
So basically, we decided that if we're still single by the time we're thirty, we're going to live together and just have us.

The apartment would be beautiful and everything would be amazing.

That's all I want in my life.

asisink @ 2011-03-05T21:59:00

2011-03-06T02:59:45Z

I honestly can't stand feeling this way for much longer, I can't be alone all the time.
All I do now is cry and throw up and my body nor my mind can't do this anymore.
I miss Rob so much, that I can't do anything.

I can't sleep because every time I try, I'm expecting him to be next to me and he's not, or I expect to wake up with him here and he's not.
And I can't eat because I'm either just not hungry or I'll just throw it up later anyways.
I miss him so much that I seriously just want to die because I can't imagine my life without him or image him being completely happy without me.
It sucks even further because I'm always alone now. Go to work, come home to sit in my room all night.
Go to karate, come home to sit in my room all night.
And this weekend all I'm doing is sitting in my room alone.

I have nobody to talk to, not one person who can come here and just let me vent.
And anyone I talk to on here just complains to me or doesn't care.

I can't do this.

asisink @ 2011-03-02T20:47:00

2011-03-03T01:46:57Z

I can't even begin to describe how completely fucked my life is right now.

Rob broke up with me on Monday, which was completely unexpected and I'm still half in shock, half in total destruction. He just woke up and started crying, and when I asked what was wrong, he said "I don't love you anymore." Oh.

What the fuck do you say to that? After three years you just stopped loving me? How? When? What the Christ fuck?

So I just stood up, walked outside in the -10C weather in my Spongebob boxers and tank top and just cried. I didn't know what else to do. I called my dad shortly after and asked him and my step mom to come get me. Rob came out and said "Can't we talk about this?" What? No, fuckface, what do we even have to talk about? It's not like we can talk this out and make everything better!? He sobbed as I packed what shit I could and fucked off.

I didn't stop crying or vomiting until yesterday, in which I lost 4 lbs and now my work pants refuse to stay up.

Everything is just FUBAR. My entire three year relationship and my life fucked up in under 5 seconds.I went back yesterday to get the rest of my stuff, and a lot of my stuff is still there. And all I could do was cry, my entire body felt like it had been hit with a truck the moment I saw him. He was crying just as much as I was, begging me not to cut him out of my life completely. We had a long talk about what we were going to do, because he still wants to talk to me and be my friend, but I just don't know if I can handle that. I honestly still just feel like staying in my bed forever, and I know for a fact that I never want another relationship, because one day they'll decide that they don't love me anymore and I'll have to feel like this all over again, which I just cannot do.

If I ever saw him with another girl, I just don't think that I could possibly handle it. I just couldn't fucking do it, there's absolutely no way. He still wants me to go see Rush with him, which I'm going to do, mostly because it's already paid for and it's FUCKING RUSH. But I just don't know. I can't handle waking up alone everyday, not hearing him randomly call me "pretty," not having him to hug when I'm upset, not having dinner with him, not going to the movies with him, not holding his hand. I fucking hate it and I feel like this gunshot feeling in my chest will never go away.

And I don't think it ever will anyways. He said that maybe we can spark things up in the future, and he feels that maybe it was because we were cooped up in such a small space together all the time. But we weren't... Not at all the time. So I'm definitely and obviously not getting my hopes up for that, though I wish I could let myself fall into that false hope, maybe it would make me feel better.

Maybe if I was better, prettier, smarter...

asisink @ 2011-02-27T21:31:00

2011-02-28T02:31:48Z

I love getting hand written letters c:

asisink @ 2011-02-26T16:10:00

2011-02-26T21:10:24Z

Passport Canada called me on the one day that I have to sleep in just to tell me that I'm not getting my passport.
Why?
Because I didn't sign it, even though I know for a fucking fact that I signed it, so I ended up screaming at this poor French guy for about five minutes.
Sorry, but who the fuck calls on a Saturday, for one.
And this will be the third time I've had to send my passport fuckery away! He told me that I could just fill out the first form and take it down to Service Canada and it would be fine, in which case I yelled "GREAT. BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THIS TIME TO WALK AN HOUR DOWNTOWN, WAIT THREE HOURS IN LINE, AND WALK AN HOUR BACK. ISN'T THERE ANYONE WORKING AT SERVICE CANADA WHO IS FUCKING INTELLIGENT?"

He said "No, otherwise they would have a real job."

Writer's Block: You're my best friend

2011-02-26T04:04:44Z

If you could shrink any animal down to miniature size and carry it around in your pocket, which animal would you choose?

First question listed was submitted by misc_negro. (Follow-up questions, if any, may have been added by LiveJournal.)

View 1724 Answers

I think I'd choose an ostrich or a platypus. I'd just let them chill out when I'm at work and keep me entertained with their cuteness.

asisink @ 2011-02-24T16:48:00

2011-02-24T21:48:31Z

Say you marry the last person that texted you, what’s your new last name?

Shadley. LOL HAY BBY.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms?

Like, once.

What are some things you do when you’re mad?

Play loud music.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?

Every day of my whole life!

How do you feel about your hair right now?

Eh.

What are you listening to right now?

Sarah typing. Lmao.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't 1.

Do you enjoy late night phone conversations?

Sure!

Who is the last person to send you a message on facebook?

Annoying McTool.

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else?

-Checks-
Nope.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?

My own.

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?

Never.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

A strip club.
Or, y'know, Ireland.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?

Of course not c:

Who’s hoodie did you wear last?

My own.

Who would you give your life for?

My cats. >>;

Have you ever stayed with someone because you liked their parents?

=/ No.

Who have you texted today?

Brandon, Freeman and Cady.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in?

Nope.

Who is the prettiest person you know?

MY KITTENS.

What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know?

When I go for runs, I pretend that I'm a secret agent,

What do you want to do after highschool?

College, just waiting for the acceptance letter.

Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home?

I dance and play Guitar Hero really loudly.

What was the last good news you heard?

Uuhm. Dunno?

If you had the chance to move to a completely different state, would you?

No, because I live in Canada.

What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you?

Leave me cute notes around the house, but Roberto does that anyways c:

What do you wish you had more knowledge about?

Classic novels and authors.

What food are you craving right now?

Nothing right now.

How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa ?

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell?

Yes.

Did the last person to hurt you, ever apologize?

Nope.

Who last made you laugh harder than you have in a long time?

Brandon.
"Never run with a boner."

Do you start the water before you get in the shower?

Yes.

Would you ever get someones name tattooed on you?

Nope.

Does your family have family picnics?

Yeah, right.

Do you know your sibling’s middle name

Nope.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

I'm still sleepy.

If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you say?

Did you get your PhD at the bottom of a cereal box?

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart?

Nope.

Ever made a prank phone call?

Yes.

Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you’re sleeping?

That'd be weird if she did, because I don't live with her..

asisink @ 2011-02-20T13:57:00

2011-02-20T18:57:03Z

I have been awake since 6 AM with a beastly stomach flu, though the 24 hour flu is going around so I really hope that's all it is.
I had to cancel on mum today and no matter how many Advil I take, this headache just is not dicking off.

I was however able to eat some ketchup chips without barfing, so that was nice.

And now, I saw Unknown last night and it was excellent. I recommend it.
Also, Rob got me Dexter The Game, and I love it.
And him.

But now, for some lol's.

I tend to forget how lame and retarded I get when I get sick, but this morning was just silly.
I tried to call mom to tell her that I'm feeling very ill and if we could reschedule for next weekend.
However, she wasn't answering at home nor her cell phone, so I started crying.
Then Rob brought in some Timbits so I scarfed down three of those, but whined because the cats weren't in the room and I wanted to cuddle them.

Once mom called me back, I started apologizing profusely while crying even though I knew that my mom would only want me to get better.
Mum kept saying "IT'S OK. IT'S OK. GO TO BED. EAT SOUP."

Then I vaguely remember begging Rob for McDonald's when he gets off work because McNuggets are delicious.
But I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "Tummy wants McNuggets."

I don't even know.

asisink @ 2011-02-14T13:15:00

2011-02-14T18:15:46Z

Alright, I have a Valentine's Day entry for everyone today.
No, I will not be bitching about it, but I just want to get a couple things straight.

First of all, it's ok to be single on Valentine's Day, it's one day out of the year that people choose to spend immense amounts of funds on silly, corny things in order to please their significant other.

Now, Rob and I choose to do this throughout the year for each other. If we see something the other would enjoy, we buy it and give it to them as a little surprise gift. We chose to show our love whenever we want to, not just one silly day out of the year.

So seriously, just get over it. I'm actually avoiding Facebook as much as possible today because everyone is bitching about it.

Just let it go.

asisink @ 2011-02-13T15:24:00

2011-02-13T20:24:20Z

Today, my mum and my aunt went to Prescott to visit her friend and get Aunt Mel out of the house for a bit.
Aunt Mel recently had major surgery and has been stuck in the house for the past few weeks, and that definitely did not sit well with her.

But she was allowed to get up and move around a few days ago so we took her out today.
Mum's friend currently has four dogs, one belonging to her son, but him and his wife are in the process of moving to a bigger house, so she's keeping him for another week or so.
She normally has 2 Rotties and one Shih tzu, all of which are the most lovable creatures on the planet.

Mum's friend, Sue, asked if I had any holiday time in the summer. I told her I was hoping to quit Harvey's by the summer anyways, and just work my second job.
Turns out that Sue and her husband are looking to go visit their daughter and grandchildren in Nova Scotia for two weeks in the summer and she was looking for someone to look after the pups.

She needs someone that can stay there with them or who lives close enough to let them out and feed them and take them for walks and such.
I'll have my license by then, but it's still a half hour drive, so I'd just be staying there.

I obviously said yes because I would literally be getting paid to play with puppies! FUCKIN' EH.

Plus, her house is bitchin' and she has an immense amount of property, including a man-made swimming pond in the back and a large trail going for at least a mile.
So I can go for a run and a swim and take the pups with me.

The grocery store is also only a mile or two away.

I AM SO EXCITED.

asisink @ 2011-02-11T11:34:00

2011-02-11T16:34:28Z

Sleeping in is the most glorious thing known to man since combining bananas and bread.

asisink @ 2011-02-09T17:16:00

2011-02-09T22:16:36Z

So, there's a good chance that I didn't get into the course I wanted.
A woman from the college phoned me today to let me know that many people applied to that course.
So A. They're only choosing the students with the highest grades and B. It'll be WEEKS before I find out.

Honestly, if I don't get into college, I will kick an infant.
College is my only option.
I cannot and will not work and live in this terrible town for the rest of my life.

asisink @ 2011-02-06T20:00:00

2011-02-07T01:00:18Z

CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!

asisink @ 2011-02-02T15:29:00

2011-02-02T20:29:50Z

Well, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a horrible person.

Apparently because I don't enjoy being abused and neglected by people and will tell you if I think you're being an ass-straw, I have no friends.
However, I am totally fine with being a crazy cat lady forever.

asisink @ 2011-01-27T17:27:00

2011-01-27T22:27:09Z

This just made me cry harder than Michael J Fox trying to play Jenga.

www.youtube.com/watch

I'll Take All The Blame; The Front Page And The Fame

2011-01-27T02:28:12Z

Lately, I've been on a harsh old school Billy Talent Binge.
I wasn't a big fan of their newest album, but their first two were amazing.

And since apparently LiveJournal sucks dick and won't allow me to Embed media, I shall put a link to a video.

www.youtube.com/watch

asisink @ 2011-01-23T15:07:00

2011-01-23T20:07:39Z

Alright, just a quick update.

I saw strippers in Quebec.
I got 2 lapdances.
I had a strippers lipstick on my face for most of the night.
And one brought me on stage so she could lick me.

Oh, and my coworker was getting a "Lap dance" for over 45 minutes.

asisink @ 2011-01-21T07:00:00

2011-01-21T11:59:54Z

So any form of sleep definitely isn't happening and I still have to work for 10 hours or more today.
I've nearly been awake for 24 hours and by the time I get home and get everything done that I need to, I'll be fucking exhausted.
And if we're busy at work, I'll be stuck there until Midnight or later.

I really thought I was going to go to Hull this weekend and miss Rob, but I seriously doubt I will now.
And maybe it's a good thing that I won't see him at all this week.

He went to bed about half an hour ago, so I went over to say good night to him and say "I love you."
His response: Coffee machine is in the kitchen.

Great. Thanks. Fucker.

asisink @ 2011-01-19T18:45:00

2011-01-19T23:45:18Z

Alright, just need to get one of my tiny pet peeves out of my system.

A few of my friends have started to watch TV series that I adore, which is fine, nice that you're showing interest.

However, keep in mind that I have already seen all of the episodes in these series, so don't give me a play by play.
If you want to talk about the show with me, cool, but I don't need you to tell me word for word what is going on.

Recently, one of my friends has started watching True Blood. This is one of my all-time favourite shows, I own every season and have watched every episode over and over.

My friend started talking to me about two hours ago and the entire conversation has been a play by play.

Him: "OH HE JUST PUNCHED THOSE REDNECKS."

Me: "I know."

Him: "Now they just killed those vampires!"

Me: "I know, I've seen every episode."

Him: "BILL ISN'T DEAD."

Me: "I KNOW AND THEN HE GETS HIS ASS UP OUT OF THE GRAVE AND THEY FUCK. I KNOWWWWWW."

asisink @ 2011-01-18T21:14:00

2011-01-19T02:14:05Z

Alright, I listened to thew new single from Rise Against.
And.
Well.
IT'S AWESOME. DURR.

Their new album comes out March 15th titled End Game.
I'm very excited.